How do i feel right now? not exactly sure. But there a slight ray of happiness every now and then. But wad happened to the other portion of that "happy" feeling?

Lost somewhere i guess.. waiting for me to look for it out there. and maybe, just maybe, the journey towards it will bring priceless happiness, something worth the time and effort. so i guess its just somewhere out there, waiting for me to come to presence.

i feel that its hard to pour my heart out to my close ones . The fear of being the victim of judgement, a figure that people dont expect u to be or act like one. And when u finally come out clean, people looked at u differently. As if ur some foreign being trapped inside the body of the of whom your close ones refer to you as.and because of that, you dont want to give the slightest hint about the most intimate details of urself as you might jeopardise the friendship and the way they feel "comfortable" looking at you.

Yes, i am sensitive. I cant deny that side of myself. some may find it romantic.. some may find it gay-ish..i guess only certain people find this exceptionally normal..

At this very moment, i dont know who are my friends and foe anymore.. i can only say a handfull that are my friends.. and others i wished i was friends with..and others are still in my Hope-list..for now, i dunnoe who is who...which is which...