There's soo many things Locked inside myself tht i somehow feel i couldnt take it anymore.. cos.. there's no more space for anymore..

I wan to throw it all away.. simply tht.. bing the youngest in the family leaves me with no choice but to give in to their demands.. Especially after what had happen.. im blackmailed like shitt
But whyy me?? shud i feel lucky??Grateful?? or shud i feel deprived?? sometimes i Wish i could get away from it all.. but no matter wad.. they keep coming back..Continuously..No end..

I do feel that im distaning away from my family... cos i don feel tht family bond anymore.. was it me or them?? i dunnoe for now.. I used to be soo family Orientated when i was younger.. cos al my family does is Care for me and make sure i get The Best.. but now?? i feel like im a Used Son.. I just one to voice out my Feelings to them but i know they wont understand.. A Mother who doesnt care what im going thruu.. all she wants is for me to be Successful.. to her... my prblems are mine.. A Brother with soo much Arrogance and Ego and doesnt care about anything accept for my Studies.. cant simply know wad im experiencing.things like friends.RElationships.. to him its just small matters..even so..To me its HUGE .. so u see now?? i cant seem to connect to them in anyway.. Maybe not now..maybe not anyime soon.. Somtimes i like to be more with myself.. im the only person tht can fully understand myself.. besides the J&D of cos... but even soo.. i really wish i was tht small young boy who's always loved by his brother and Mother.. i don want fancy phones or nice food all i wan is LOVE.