my blog

2009-11-27T19:32:00.003+08:00

I have officially moved to a new blogsite, no longer a blogger..
Go to this link below and it'll lead to straight
to my new blog.

http://www.musfitrisuhaimi.tumblr.com

Please relink me if ur interested. if not thts fine.

2009-11-12T09:32:00.005+08:00

The Eternal Youth Frolic

I have Outwitted,Outlasted,Outstudied the Obnoxious O levels.My last paper has presented me the key to eternal youth frolic. So here i go! Going to release October's Anxiety out of My system. The world has now become my playground. Its Waiting for me.

Who would have known, the day of my long awaited youthfulness has come!. The last 2 mins of the final paper got the best of my anxiety. I couldnt wait, could think of anything else other than all the " FunTertainment" that i've been looking forward to. In simple, i would never have to worry about Not-studyuing, Not-reaching home early..and plus!! i could have eternal fun with my darling friends for REAL now.. No regrets whatsoever... HEHE!!

2009-11-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

How do i feel right now? not exactly sure. But there a slight ray of happiness every now and then. But wad happened to the other portion of that "happy" feeling?

Lost somewhere i guess.. waiting for me to look for it out there. and maybe, just maybe, the journey towards it will bring priceless happiness, something worth the time and effort. so i guess its just somewhere out there, waiting for me to come to presence.

i feel that its hard to pour my heart out to my close ones . The fear of being the victim of judgement, a figure that people dont expect u to be or act like one. And when u finally come out clean, people looked at u differently. As if ur some foreign being trapped inside the body of the of whom your close ones refer to you as.and because of that, you dont want to give the slightest hint about the most intimate details of urself as you might jeopardise the friendship and the way they feel "comfortable" looking at you.

Yes, i am sensitive. I cant deny that side of myself. some may find it romantic.. some may find it gay-ish..i guess only certain people find this exceptionally normal..

At this very moment, i dont know who are my friends and foe anymore.. i can only say a handfull that are my friends.. and others i wished i was friends with..and others are still in my Hope-list..for now, i dunnoe who is who...which is which...

i walked away as if u don matter to me
but actually u do,

2009-10-01T01:25:00.002+08:00

What do i think of this movie? i think it was Great. A major Must-watch movie. I personally feel that this movie has indeed touched my heart and fueled my inner-flame of becoming a performing artiste. Despite all the the thirilling dance routines, string vocals and sensitive acting, this movie has a lot to offer. other movies like Step up and its sequel step 2, it majorly emphasized on dance itself and basically, standing for what you believe in. But in FAME, it unravels the Reality, consequences when we invest in education of the arts. Rejections, turn down, cheated etc. it really has a lot to those performing artistes out there. Believing in ur dreams is one thing, but persueing and persisting it is another, where talent isnt the only factor that will bring u up to the big screens or on covers of magazine. So this movie has indeed inflamed and awaken the performing artiste in me. Which i've for so long, deny it, de-emphsized it, be little it. I've lost sight of that fire. After watching fame, it was recindled. might not be as strong like before, but im sure, slowly it'll burn brighter and stronger. And soon, i too will have FAME

2009-09-27T07:03:00.003+08:00

Red-Alert!!

to all my Friends and J&D: Do not contact me via HandPhone!.. I repeat Do not Contact me Via Handphone! Handphone Just got "quarantined". If u know what i mean. For the time being, i guess it'll be pretty hard for u guys to reach me A.T.M. Bear with it yeah? Deepest apologies...

I guess my life from now, will be Majorly Monotonous thanks to the power of Education,devouring ever brain cell that i have. O levels are like Majorly around the corner.. So im slogging my no ones business.. Good Grief!! Hate it so much. With all the fascinating movies showing on NOW, its just sad that i cant catch them.Especially "FAME" goodness!! that like the Major a-must-must-watch Movie!! nonetheless, i shud just live life wondering how the movie goes untill after my O's.

Things i Hate about Muggin:

I have to study untill the wee hours
I have to sacrifice my lovely eyes for new panda eyes
Not enuff sleep time
Makes me Worry more
Majorly Sinking Myself in Caffeine.Like No joke

But anyways, it'll soon be over, i have to get this done Once and for all. even if it means not enough sleep. cos im Okay going without much sleep. besides, its handful of weeks left! The thought of it Scares to the very last nerve.

Ok den, i wont be updating tht often for now, occassionally i hope. so yeah. till then Guys!

2009-09-21T21:11:00.002+08:00

Selamat hari Raya Minal-aidilwalfa'izin to all my Muslim Buddies In Singapore! Maaf-zahir dan batin.!!

2009-09-15T00:40:00.002+08:00

Something has got me thinking, When will i ever find Love?

Many say love is priceless, Blind,heartful,rewarding, and worth-the-wait. Many times i've wondered why arent i tht spontaneous in hooking up with girls like other guys.. i mean, my best friends around me already found love in one way or another. Love from Family, Friends and lovers are theoratically different in many perpectives. Family love comes natural, u protect, u foght for. Love from Friends is when it matters to ur BFFs.. we care for each other and we Look out for one another. Love from ur lover, is where u find comfort, someone who u let out ur most intimate feelings about anything to, someone for u to care about and will get back the same care in return, completely different when u let out feelings to a friends. To be Frank, sometimes we wont let out those intimiate feelings to friends cos it could be too personal. I dont know.

All these years i've avoided myself to stay away from Love. Its like taboo for me now. This has definitely been the weakness i cant seem to face. I be-little myself too much.Cant seem to find the one aspect that i can be really proud about.Like really be proud about. Anyways, these things never happened to me at all. Could it be the mindset i have? or something else i dunno or never thought about. For now, Single is definitely no a status for me. More like Deprived/apprehensive

Till then...Good night

2009-09-09T17:15:00.004+08:00

The Old Dancers

i was browsing thru youtube yet again and i so happen to find our prom dance practise videos!! like WTH?! and OMG we all looked Funny and majorly hilarious.. i hope my choreo wasnt too tough for u guys!! but u were great!

And i miss yall alreadyy!!

One leaves another one comes.. so yea this year will be having another batch of dancers again! i think we have to spice things up and do some walts or something! haha Dancers be prepared yah? and i shall note to myself as to not make the choreography too technical.. yup.. i'll try. simpl bcos i cant help it but do the unthinkable. =))

Here's the practise vid!!ps* SPOT ME AND AFIQ!!

Now, the Actual Dance!

2009-09-08T20:11:00.007+08:00

That's Soo Be-yon-ce!!

I was browsing around youtube and i so happen to come across Beyonce's new Hit - Sweet Dreams..

Frankly, I think that Beyonce has been one of the inspirations for the heterosexual and metrosexual community... Her Sexual appeals and her outrageous key signature moves has definitely become an icon that everyone is familiar with! Even so, i have the occassional mix-ups between her and Tyra banks.. They sorta look alike.. I think its their hair-do that makes them difficult to tell apart.

Even so, i still feel that Beyonce is Majorly iconic! so yeah.. even her video for the song( sweet dreams ) was indeed breathtaking.

Apart from me watching her ravishing promotional records, i happened to view some interesting dance videos by other passionare dancers dancing to her Hits. But i must say that most of them we too " hip-hop"ish. Which i must say was to cliche yet still Funky-Fresh! as in, each video had the same concept but different interpretation of the song which i find thts rather off-thee-hook!. however, i found this "contemperory" version of it.. 2 thumbs up!! very creative! with the lightings and all..

till then.. do tag!

2009-09-07T00:58:00.007+08:00

FULL Load!

This Week? love it soo soo much.. first of all, i Performed successfully for teacher's day! AGAIN!! and the other was the Class BBQ at Sembawang Park..

I would like to give my greatest and deepest gratitude to this batch of dancers. Class of 2009. Gracious Grad'z / 5G dancers..
i must say that im greatly astounded by some of them whom i have no idea could dance very very well.. there u have it!! My soon-to-be dancers! its a different feel this year. Its as if we're in a dance club or something. most probabbly because its a group of 10 dancers.

I've realised that at the very beginning, i was trying to make them "me" but i by-pass the notion that every dancer has their own weaknesses and strength, Towards the end, saw their potential. and strt to make use of it and change the routine a lil bit to spice things up. People like, wani who has great Energy and facials, Faz with good interpretation, Geraldine too. Fiona looks damm good with her flow, but rythm alil off..and afiq who has good ballet sense etc. i have a feeling that with proper guidance they'll be dancers too.. i have plans After O's =) ps: we shall go out for dinner sometime! to celebrate..

Then comes the class BBQ! well... its fun.. it shud be especially after begging the brother to allow me to. So yea, i think its fun. cos sub-conciously im actually not letting the day to go to waste, enjoyed the holy out of it.. But still had curfew.. sad sad sad...

I feel that sch without these 3 people would be hell-load- of boredom.seriously..

With the fasting month in the midst, i cant help but be super time-concious! always waiting for breakfast. Frankly, the happiest time of the day for is aorund 6 plus.. where im just minutes away from buka.. plus, spring cleaning is a super MUST MUST MUST do.. and i hate it.. imagine the mess u make for an entire 7-8 months and the rush to clean it up within wad? 3 plus weeks? its horrible. Majorly Horrible. and i seriously hate Geylang this year! don know why, maybe bcos i have something else better to do, like Studying.. Going there is simply a waste of time.. despite my rants about it, i still have to drag my sorry ass down there to shop for house decor.. Shit shit shit...

2009-08-26T12:07:00.000+08:00

Almost there...

almost there! im lke 2 more months away from my total freedom!! no more books.. no more " brother-tell-me-to-study"... ohh pleassee huryy 11/11!!

My week has been rather hectic.. with rehearsals and all and plus prelims happening.. simultaneous equation much??ahhaa yeah.. i would say tht too...It almost felt like it was last week that i just strted my Sec5... imagine how quickly time flies!! zoom is more like it...
But no matter... I shall study and end this year with a Bang!! and hav no regrets.. I guess you'll not be seeing me online that often for now.. but do text me!..

J&D J&D J&D.... I've Missed You sooo...

2009-08-20T03:17:00.002+08:00

This Best Friend of mine is turning 18 this saturday!ohh i've missed u so Despite the long sms-replied from me she did bother to text me.. ok now i feel utterly guilty!! haha!!Herdawati Dwi Liyana, Your 18th B'day is coming on this SAT!! wow!! finally u're 18!! im sure you've grown a little taller yah? join the club! hahahha!!! MISS MISS MISS u soo much!

Other than that, i also missed my Lovely J&D... I doubt we'd be able to meet up frequently like last year, but its the hurdles were facing head on now rite? so let us get through it first and we shall be reunited kay? remember our promises!!

2009-08-13T22:47:00.002+08:00

TYPICALLY!!

I cant comprehend why some Singaporeans are just too practical! is it because it comes natural for Singaporeans to unreasonably assume?Especially when it comes to certain aspects like Law, Regulations and even a Person's Behaviour.

To kick things off, i came to close encounters with some typical natives in the MRT. shockingly, im appalled. Simply because the notion that singaporeans are always complaining has always been in mind. But to experienced the " complains" especially when it with regards to you. its very freaky and uncomfortable.

The Science Practical happened to today. And strangely, i liked it. Partially because i managed to finish the entire paper and another was because the procedures were almost flawless.However there was something that ticked me off. The grid-lines and the mini-square boxes were so small!! i'll soon have parallex error-syndrome!! and i love my eyesight just like the way it is!
Well no matter.. today was considerably fun. But something really really turned me off.. like big time. and i dont like it.

til then!

2009-08-10T08:36:00.002+08:00

I would want to take this opportunity to Wish Singapore very happy 44th Birthday!!

Im not sure why, but there's just something sentimental about this year's celebration of National Day that made me feel warm within. I never Had this warm feeling during national day since i was like 10yo? after so long and then now its back!! weird huh? but its true..

When we were younger all we ever thought about was having fun during this sort of Festive occassion. and i mean like FUN! but the FUN we always looked forward for was the Goodie Bags etc. But now when im older, things have much more clearer meanings for me. Singapore is indeed my one and only home. True Home. Despite the negative assumptions i made about Singapore, I still love Her no matter what. Now that im apart from my BestFriends. J&D in particular, i've realised that i wouldnt have found these people if it wasnt for Singapore's multi-racial cohesion and for all races to coexist together harmoniously. Its with these policy that i found my friends. Thank you singapore. I really cant stop singing Nat'day Songs. They finally brought meaning to me. Try listening to it now! yes YOU! You're much older now and we're able to comprehend things in a much broader prospective.. so yeah! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!! im proud to be a Singaporean. We may be kiasu but Im still Proud!

2009-08-02T12:09:00.003+08:00

I just caught this movie and i would say that its rather funny. Especially with Lindsay Lohan acting as the main lead. This Movie shows the controversies about some of the things pregnant women experience. Lindsay Lohan acted the part as "Thea" in this movie wasnt actually pregnant. She come up with a lie just to get her by from getting fired from her current job. Eversince, People around her begin to Believe her Lies. With that she, became the centre of attention. self-directed and taking advantage of the situation.

As she "pretended" to be pregnant later on in the movie, she had to create illusions to make sure she loooked legitimate. Taking safety precautions like a real mother which she's not. Her "precautions " eventually overcome she selflessness making her believe and think and act like an actual Mother. Obsessively in denial that she's pretending. Her pretentious self was soon noticed by her sister."Emma" who unveiled the Humiliations and Lies she was trying to hide. She was Out of her suit and came clean and restore orders that her "lies" have done.. so if u wanna know more.. go catch the movie!

This movie sort of embraces the pains of labour. The mess and the disfunctions. The pressure that every lady will soon face. Looking for the proper maternal dresses and handling themselves with care. Then constraining themselves from their usual habits and getting used to new ones. Not forgetting both their lives and their infant within them are on the line aswell.

There's also an ambiguous factor to this movie. Whther this movie should imply for Mothers, liars, or is this movie simply a comic for the sake of making comedy movies alive among the living. It's good that Dramatical climate was kept minimal. Evenso, the movie ended with a sweet note, it tells us that sometimes some lies help us find people. the right people for ourselves eventhough they eventually come out unexpectedly. In the movie, Thea got married with her Boss;whom she lied to about her being pregnant.But in the end, she really got pregnant! and he accepted her eventhough she lied about her pregnancy all those time. Her lies was seen as a contributing factor that brought them closer together as colleaguesand the most intimate details of their personal lives were soon expressed. It was unforeseeable that they become couple eventhough some aspects was obvious. Yet, they know they were meant for each other in the end.

2009-08-01T15:54:00.004+08:00

AS of todayyy......

as of today, i will promise Not to go down during recess to eat and only eat an actual meal once everyday regardless of time of the day ,Avoiding rice,fried food and sweet drinks. My thurst shall be dependent on the plain water in my New Nike water bottle. My odyssey of being the biggest loser has begun. As of today, I'm going to be a loser.

to kick things off, i had blast today at dance! went without my brother's consent. But anyways, in life we'll have to do things. its not always a straight line neither is it always a roller-coaster ride! so eventhough my conscience said no. My hear say Mussy-Go!! wad can i say? my passion calls for my presence!. Even so, i did feel guilty later on. On the contrary, i feel that Life has to be a lil bit wild, or else it'll be rather monotonous. Anywho, i had to rush home soon after. I had many things to do and i left them hanging back at home. So off i went! leaving behind my sweet sweet dance buddies alone.. sorry guys.. some other dayss la..

So here i am, at home doing my work. Yet still blogging? tsk tsk tsk... even with time by my side.. it just doesnt seem enough. and honestly, time is not much of help either.. another contributing factor to my pressurised-ego.. I better get back to work now.. so till then people!!

2009-07-31T20:26:00.003+08:00

Today's friday and i'm thankful that school ended early... like Big time!!

Down with Flu and i've yet to complete my assigments... and im behind my study schedule... Balllzzz.... I need MEDITATION!! or maybe a cup of non-fat latte would suffice...

2009-07-30T20:07:00.002+08:00

I cant believe this.....

It's hard to say this, especially from me, I'm actually FINE with the sleepless nights due to studying and i'm actually enjoying it! goodness, i think im becoming a Real Student...
Nevertheless, i'd do anything to get my grades up and i've made up my mind to make my way to JC or at least, the poly that i want. but my mind has always tracked at the JC route..Hmmm.. i did not retake N levels to not-do-well, i wont waste this golden opportunity of mine.. There must be a reason why i made it for O's.. and i still believe that it still burns immensely within me... So! im soo not givin up without a good fight! i just need a kick-in-the-ass!!

To kick things off, i've beginning to realise that my Brother, is indeed a blessing from above, he teaches me right from wrong and mould me into a person with many capabilities.. despite his rough stance, sometimes i know that i really deserve everything tht he does to me. Be it good or bad.. cos knowing him. he's a man with reasons.

** ps: my life would be soo much easier if i knew maths in the back of my head.....

2009-07-26T23:35:00.002+08:00

Today was not much a kick for me. Nothing interesting happened. I'm finally don with my Coursework B and im deeply insane about it!! like duhhh

i've been video calling with my bestie Kaviee for 2 consecutive days and im vaguely impressed by technology these days. Although nonsense but still a contributing factor our globalised world. Like duhh..

I have a problem of gettting myself up for sch these days. Eversince i strted muggin and TAF club resumed, my time is completely packed and compressed. Imagine sleeping as late as 3 am in the morning and waking up for sch at 5 so to be in time for TAF club at 6.45. Crazyy? i think not.. More like Insane..

But wads there to do? i can sleep all i want after O levels. cos after O levels there no need to study already. Im Not giving up untill i put on a Great Fight.. means sleepless nights and whole lot of essays.. and zaps of notes..

2009-07-22T21:50:00.002+08:00

Missed and fonded....

I've missed my J&D very much. Like Monster-truck-loads of them. We finally got to meet up after 2 months of absence and it has definitely made our hearts grow fonder which makes our presence even more exquisite. We had dinner together and it was a wonderful experience indeed. Definitely something new yet old-fashioned.

To kick things off, i've really missed my DANCE TRAININGS. Despite the occasional dancing to myself at home, it feels completely different when i'm in a class and dancing as a whole with the rest!. OH LORDDD!! i can't wait for O levels to be over and go all out for my dances. Ironically, i feel okay about studies being my top priority for now. i'll be studying my ass off for whatever that is left for the next 3 months.

2009-07-21T12:29:00.005+08:00

Phone...

My phone is in a critical condition. Like major critical condition. I need the ICU!! The emergency room, Damage Control!! pleasee!! pleasee!! Anything to save my dear dear dear Gorgeous phone. I dun wan to change phone again!! or else J&D would be MAD! Ok but if i get to change. i would want something better.
Tsk tsk tsk. Mussy mussy mussy.... I've fell deeply in love with my phone.

2009-07-19T22:37:00.007+08:00

Well.Well.Well..

To kick things off, i'll start with Harry Potter and the Half-blood prince. In general terms the movie is considerably funny but the down side of it is that there wasnt much combat of spell-bindings going around. How can a movie that defies the laws of physics not have magic? they do.. but not tht much.. disappointing but the verbosity of the movie and the comic of it happens to be the ones that got me to sit-up and listen.All in all, its worth the $$. It somehow gives viewers the brief idea of what the next harry potter sequel will be like.Cliff-hangers,i hate them So yeah, if u wanna know wad i mean, go catch that movie. And seats are filling fast.

Moving on, i've really miss my dear J&D. Like reall loads. But i have to bare in mind the O levels are coming. So i guess our next meet up will be on Herdy's b'day. so yeah.. looking forward to it and i PROMISE TO BE THERE!. Upon hearing on Kinne's success on topping the J&D camera Pixel, im obsessively obsessed to snap shots with that Camera of hers. wad model? not sure yet..

Study,Study,Study.. I think i'll have no choice but to Stick with you for now.. like reall no choice..

2009-07-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

Rain,rain,rain...

Its's been pouring for the past few weeks, and of course i enlighten.. But the rain somehow symbolizes the gloominess,sad and cold feelings pertaining the mood of the person. Some say that rain is a blessing for God.

On the contrary, some might feel that rain illustrates the feelings they have. No doubt that anyone of us would be even more depressed or melancholy when it rains. Especially when we're already in that state to begin with. Sad huh? i'm not sad neither am i depressed. somehow, i feel sorry for myself. The there isnt any moans or wad sort that can illustrate my condition. Plainly sorryy...
Controversy? maybe yes, maybe no.

2009-07-12T03:04:00.005+08:00

WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN....

who would have known that people think i'm lucky. Who would have known that dancing is my passion. Who would have known that i have many good qualities that sometimes overlooked it.

Honestly, i should be more confident in everything. But the thoughts of the contradictions could put me off just like that. Mind over heart over body. the most powerful prospects of one's selflessness.

so which should we listen to? the mind? the heart? or the body? did it ever occur to you that when u feel like sleeping when really not that tired-listening to body. Sometimes i feel that i listen to my body too much.*sighs*

The 3 cannot coexist but the final verdict requires those 3 to make the perfect decision. Why u do think we think twice? or dwell over dilemmas? self-conscience listens to those three as they all give different opinions, thoughts, consequences and choices. Its up to oneself to hear and listen to those 3 prospects and comprehend.

2009-07-09T20:45:00.003+08:00

ONE NIGHT ONLY....

i got one night only. One night to do complete my overdue homeworks, Assigments and present homeworks given on 4 consecutive days. And i have 3 essays to complete.

ohh wells, like a wise man once said, No pain, No Gain. Strangely, im beginning to appreciate the things people around me are doing for my own benefit. But i still wish i could have a lilttle be of free way everynow and then thou.. really missed my dear kinne,rose and herdy.

wells, its back to my fun anf thrilling life now, Monotonous life basically crippled by the power of education.

2009-07-03T17:22:00.009+08:00

On the Verge...

Right now, i simple just comprehend the kind of people i'm dealing with. One Failure costs me my total freedom wad not. I couldnt grasp the concept why i cant even go out when its with regards to my Studies. or is there even any to begin with. Unreasonable and mindless i must say.. im practically pushed to the limit and beyond it.

i cant stand all the nonsense im thrown at.. it suddenly came to my mind if whether i got myself into this mess or was there something else? im pretty sure that i got myself into this mess.The outcome im getting is beyond the unthinkable or was there even a purpose to it to think about in the first place?

2009-07-01T18:08:00.002+08:00

Twisted.....

3 days of school just passed and i can't even imagine what awaits me .. i sort of caught a glimpse of it thou, every now and then, i can see more pain and torturous journey ahead. *sighhss*... The unforeseeable has yet to be seen and unveil. what else is waiting on the other side? sadly, i don heck know...

Twisted feelings i must say. Nothing seemed to be as Straight and strong as before crippled by the fact that absence make the heart grow angrier..The picture now looked right but doesnt feel right.. i cant comprehend the failure and faults that's been going on and still happening and remedies seemed to be a little bit too late. Just too late. All this leads to only one Question; What happens Next?

2009-06-26T23:54:00.007+08:00

In Memory for the kind of POP, Michael Jackson.

My ohhh my.. i can believe He just flake away like that!
i grew up listening to his songs and strangely admired his dances.One of a kind.. and now he's gone. But ohh wells, death is inevitable and we all have to deal with this kind of shits. Ohh wells..

--- Rest in Peace my Legend---

well.. now, i would like to give my Deepest apologies to the J&D for not attending to our outings. Deeply sorryy..really really sorry.. but the choice is up to u guys, i totaly understand. But i must say that all of these was entirely my fault.. so den again. im sorry.Its those glitches that kept us together yes? we're always there for each other. U girls basically i guess. I dun understand why i cant Open-up to u. I really don know how. Im trying my best. Sometimes i wish i could just as close to you girls as u are together. I hope we're okayy now. NO hard-feelings kay?i missed u guys..

well... i deffinitely cant comprehend as to wh so many critics were incredibly negative with regards t the second installment of this movie, with the straights time giving an appalling 0.5/5 stars rating. And i finaly understood why untill i watched the movie myself. i almost died durin rhe 147 minutes that was nothing but more explosions after explosion, running and more running.

there was definitely more explosive, louder, and messier and MAJOR METAL-WORKS!.. HELLA STUPID shit. I barely could grasp hold onto anything about the movie, its an horrible plot,or its there even any to begin with. Its as if ur holding on to sand grains and letting it flow through your fingers. It was such fine dust. that i replayed the movie in my mind later on. yeah rite? me? lols.
But i must say the graphics works though, was beautifully crafted and all and the way the robot transforms was probably the only thing that made me sat up.

so yeah, a reminder to those who has the slightest intentions to watch the god-forsaken movie.. heed my advice, DON'T .don't even think about buying the DVD or wad sort. Just borrow from some other loser who actually loves that movie.

Till then. Love yall

2009-06-26T03:49:00.002+08:00

THE LATE NIGHT

Oh goodness, i've stayed up all night thinking about myself.. Self-reflective me. *sighs*

ohh wells.. Today, its my official ... All-Nite-no-sleep night. im still studying as we speak and im entirely astounded that i could even stay up this long to study..*wow-moment*

I totally screwed my mid-terms like MAJOR! and i failed English.. never in my life i failed English. oh wells, History was made *double sighs** and Science! ohh wellss... oh and maths! i was definitely amazed tht i passed my Maths last year.. god tht was a miracle.It'll take an intelligent miracle for me to pass maths this year.

My social life is astonishingly screwed. I've been cursed with a Curfew now. but hey roseyy! at least we're on the same boat. One reasonable way to ease myself is going to school and get myself a Webcam. So yeah, those of u who are my friends and need to see.. MSN webcam.

Oh wells.. now i've been completely banned from regular dance classes as mentioned from Brother.and a "once-a-week" off study. *sighs* the only highlight of path is that i've only 5 months left and this will all be over.

So for now, my life is basically monotonous, crippled by the power of education. How fun right? nothing but frustration and certain bitterness towards Books.yay! cant wait to get started.

Til then everyone.

2009-06-25T21:22:00.006+08:00

Reality Check Dude!!(posted By E.t)

OMG!! just look at tht u fat boy!! just Look at yourself FATTY!! Lose some weight you god-forsaken soul.. So wad if u dance? so wad if ur friends assumed tht its okayy to be fat! Don listen to them asss hole!! if u do.. they're arent ur "real-friends".... thus, they shud be supporting you..Oh pleasee... i cant believe u have the guts and the balls to even care about ur fashion.. guess wad? FAT-PEOPLE out there are Mocked and humiliated behind their backs okayy? cos they don fit the bill mus fit.. or shud i say Mus.Fat?!.. i think fat best fits you huh?.... how long are u going to stay this way? people around u have changed and u? stay there? Inertia? well i say... FUCK YOU FAT-SO! or So fat!

Look at ur friends, they're far better than u a trillion times more.. pleaseee.. if u want me to keep saying thing to u then stay there and get the hitting.. who cares if u cry and go to ur precious friends for consultation.. DOn be a sissy!! maybe if u changed ur appearance people will treat u better.. certainly better than wad u are now.. REALITY CHECK FAT-ass!! so wad if u dance?? ur still like tht arent u?? u look Freaking UGLY DAncing up on stage!! people don wanna see a Gorilla up on stage....wanna know why?? Cos they're freaks of Nature! I dunno wad else to sayy... well i'll assure u Mus.Fitri, Tht u WILL NOT MEET ANY OF UR FRIENDS Untill U prove to me tht u LOSE THOSE 102KG! yes! 102!.

Im sure ur friends will understand.. moreover, Support u in any way. Thts a ll i have to say.. Ur brother is RIGHT! always right, Fat dancers are not REspected in the industry.. There's only so much i can do so as to PUSH u to go for jogging and go on a diet.. the rest is up to you Mus.fit, I know tht ur Charming and good-looking for someone who's FAT..and knows how to "dress-up" but who cares if ur still FAT!? seriously... People Don RESPECT you.. DOn waste ur Mums Money to buy your clothes.

and only i know tht feel very Inferior when ur around ur Dearest FRIends- J&D and many others.
I know u always think about wad to wear and how to wear it.. Cos u know u wan to look the best for them but the Reality is. YOUR FAT!...Do yourself a favour will you?? Don throw all of ur Good Qualities away and let people BUlly.. u know how i much i love u Mus? i love u soo much Mus.. Soo much.. i resent people who Bully you. and i mean it, and im sure now u know why ur shy/quiet/sissy attitude changed? cos im here.. i wont let anyone walk over ur head anymore.. Pleasee.. i cant do it myself.. i neeed u Mus.Fit.... DOn think tht ur special cos u have Exquisite abilities when ur fat.. People will think tht ur even More special whenu gone from fat-so to Slim-hot guy cos u bother about the things u have and treasure them, Ur friends-J&D in particular, FAmily and Ultimately.. YOURSELF!
Its all up to u know Mus.Fit..

DEAL WITH IT!

Til then, E.T

2009-06-24T15:44:00.011+08:00

Soft sand, cool sea.. and Hot sun for some fun!!

hello there.. guess wad?? i finally got a day out for Hols!! and yeah its with my Dear and most wonderful dancers.. Has and Sheren!! ohh godd!! its been soo long since we've met for dance this year.. we're busy with our own performances untill we blamed each other for not turning up for each of our performance.. hahahha!! so all of us we at fault i guess? no wins..hahha!!

okay, so we meet up and make our way to Sentosa! and remenice all of our experiences and all.. how we got closer together and stuff..hahha! was great.. simply great.. and yea.. i must admit tht these girls have been with me thru thick and thin during dance class and all.. and yea.. tht was wad kept us close all these time. and i must sayy.. they are both one of the beautifully gorgeous girls i have in my circle-of-bestfriends. and its not easy to get in there.

SO then, things spiced up when we cam=whored.. yeah, when u have dancers in front of a cam.. god-knows the things tht happen.. ahhhh!! well here's the pics!!

Ps* some were not uploaded due to Unappropriate Postures.. ;-) Presnting: H.S.E=Has.Sheren.Et

2009-06-20T22:24:00.002+08:00

Can't take it.....

I cant stand the situation im in sometimes... the pressure of facing it and the pressure of pleasing is killing me slowly.drastically. But it'll all be over soon.. on the contrary, how long will i last?

2009-06-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

...

Goodness!! its been ages since i last blogged.. mainly because i was ver caught up in studying.. almost the whole of my June hols were taken up.. i sorta have to " do the time" at home.

It'll only be a few months more and then i'll be a free man. i have a lot of things planned after O's.. gonna catch up and "pay my time" with my one and only Judes... Take up on a scholarship in dance... GO for dance classes.. Train myself up.. Go clubs!.. but i have no choice but to put all those futuristic goal in Hold for Now.. the best i can do is to look forward to it and imagine all the great things that's gonna happen to me

Well.. til then people..

2009-06-10T21:29:00.002+08:00

To my dear and Lovely shikin....
You've been through a hell lot of stuff all these years and i KNOW deserve everything...
To lose a loved one is the most drastic and painful thing ever...
Be strong my dear shikin... Be strong...
It's not easy but i KNOW u will pull through somehow in a way or another..
Cos ur My KINNE.. and im proud to have u as my DARLING BEST FRIEND!

I'm glad to have my J&D as well.. its hard to get loyal friends who'll ALWAYS be by yourside even when they've not contacted you for a long time...
I've found My friends... Real friends...

2009-06-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

Imperfectly
Beautiful.

2009-05-24T21:30:00.002+08:00

I'm thrown....

Sometimes i wonder where i've been
who i am..do i fit in..
i may not Win. But i can be thrown
out here.. On my own...

* Fame Original Soundtrack*

2009-05-21T20:00:00.002+08:00

DEAR MUS FITRI...

One words to describe my progress so far... ATROCIOUS!
what have i been doing? what do i need to do?lemme rephrase tht
How should i do?? the DSA for JC is still available...
and i've always wanted to go to a JC.. i know Deep down in my heart that
that's truly where i want to be.. Like PERIOD!
I've been given a chance to undo the done last year with N lvls... and now i feel like im more complacent.. its as if my lazyself has come back from the slums of dead.
But why? the Mus Fitri last year was conscientious and never lazy...
But eversince mussyy came this year and taken over, everything seemed sluggish
i wouldnt want to waste this chance of mine to go to O levels.. if not, my years are worth nothing/ worthless..
I would really want to try for the DSA JPA thing... i know what i want..

till then...

2009-05-20T21:46:00.002+08:00

Love. What is love?
I've always wondered about love every now and then.
But why?
Its soo not like me too feel this way. A Friend of mine reminded me
of the incident when i once fell in love.. which never worked out..
maybe cos i never gave myself a chance? i think too Lowly of myself
Even i would give myself a chance... sub-consciously, i'll know that
It's Not right..
Maybe.. the true meaning of love comes down to 3 words

Here For You.

2009-05-18T22:25:00.004+08:00

The "whoaw" Factor....

According to Rose'Nathan, We're Insensitive Idiots!! hahhaha!! funny aye? went to visit mummy kinne and she seemed to be alright now... but at tht moment, everything was gloomy and all but the JD couldnt stop cracking jokes... yet again INSENSITIVE IDIOTS!hahha... but our hearts were at the right place tho... God Bless mummy Kinne =))

Moving on, nothing can be better than the JD in a starbucks Cafe with caffein..and caramel.. so yeah! the "Whoaw" factor is one of our trait signature for something HUGE.. hahha if u know wad i mean.. ;-)...

Anyways..Prelim 1 is finally over but nothing can be more thrilling than returning the paper to us.. yeah.. the all about the "END product"..

Till then JD.. our roads shall cross each other again..

----Fortune and Beauty favours the BOLD----

2009-05-09T22:18:00.002+08:00

Dear JD......

I've been spending time with the rest of my friends
but not with u guys...
MISS YOU!! A LOT!!

I've recently gone out with Bakh... Played poool and all... MOVIE!...
Went out with classmates and all... FUN FUN FUN!!.. see them always..
Went out with dance friends.. DANCE FUN.. yeah...

How i wish i could do all of this things with the JD... but its the Exam Period now and im sure they're busy and so am i.. but i sometime wished we could just relax together and don matter about anything else... They're like My RELIEF-ing Remedy.. Ohh LOHH.. we gotta hang out sometimes... June perhaps?? =))

Do yo u know how it feel like to be F.A.T?
yes.. YOU! do you??
Everytime u think tht people think that ur all
Fugly and stuff.. But most people say tht wad matters is
in the inside.. but how true isit?
YES.. it is partially true..
the rest..is the Harsh Truth..

2009-04-30T22:25:00.002+08:00

NonSense....

Call me arrogant... Call me selfish.. call me Self-centred...Call me Obnoxious!

I keep on hiding the fact that i can Share my friends..
But actually.. My heart Sinks to the deepest to see
them spend time with their Friends rather than me..
There... i've said it..
Its not jealousy neither is it willing...
its just that... i sometimes wished that i was Much more closer
Or Know them Better... Sometimes.. i wished they were mine for eternity...

Kinda Emo'ing here.. but hey... im being honest!
Are You??

2009-04-26T21:44:00.002+08:00

I have a dream..,...

My post Birthday Celebration with J&D was a blast.. What goes better with Us and Laughters??hahhaha!!I love them ...Monstertruck loads of love for them man... i must admit.. its been 3++ years and still counting... now.. we're just have to recall and celebrate our Anniversary...hahha!

Sch has always been a dread.. but the fun side of it never fails to give me hope to come to sch..but still.. There's still some glitches here and there which i shouldnt take issue with

I have a dream.. and i will keep persueing it...Even if its tiring.. a break will just do fine and picking-up myself is the way to go.. This dream shall never fade...

till then all...

2009-04-20T11:26:00.004+08:00

18! finally!!

who would have known, tht when i was 8, i dreamt of having the best 18th birthday! and 10 years later! Boom! i already am! fast ehhyy?? so yea!

went out with family from morning till night.. had Luch at Kenny rogers.. Yum!! they lowered the boom tht i can go shoppping!! hahaha so bought alot of nice stuff.. Clothes in particular thou.. hahha!! footwear.. new bag! wowness!! if i counted correctly, i have 15 items all for myself in one day! hahahha!!... Love My Familia soo soo MUCH!! =DD

Now, im looking forward to an outing with J&D ..post-b'day outing! love yall!!

Here's a vid i made about myself.....Officially 18.On 19th April 2009

file:///C:/DVDVideoSoft/BigBoy/Big%20Boy%20Now.mp4

2009-04-17T19:25:00.004+08:00

Tell me about it.

Ohh lohh.. the week just passed by very quickly aye? my last hours of being 17 is almost at its end. So, how shud i feel? Enlightened?joyous? hmm... im not too sure about it yet..

I feel that im becoming more and more annoyed by the day, and i always like to complain.. hahha! and im proud of myself tht i finally passed almost all of my Napfa stations! wow right? i noe! me? come'on!!haha!..well.. i guess those trainings paid off then XD

*I cant wat to meet up with J&D..Like SOON!*

2009-04-11T13:02:00.002+08:00

Mornings....

Im happy today.. i guess?? woke up at 7.30am.. and had my shower. Listen to my iPod and was inspired at 9.30 till 10.00am. and i managed to choreograph 8sets of 8 for. Im like really proud now.. My soul is at ease and suddenly solitude was endurable!. hahhaaha!!

till then my people! =))

2009-04-10T14:17:00.002+08:00

Rain rain..

Today's Good Friday. An im home. Bored. Its raining outside and everything seemed gloomy.. Dark..

The heavens are crying? or wealth is falling upon us? hmmm.. Its not the same like when i used to be a little kid. When it rains, it means FUN. Playing in the rain, carefree, the little drops of water enlightens the Joy im having. But now, the rain seemed to be a drag. No joy. anf everything. The best we can do to enjoy the rain is to sleep. A nice Nap or so.

2009-04-04T22:43:00.003+08:00

Exhausted.

im feeling lethargic now.. exhausted and all worked. i dunnoe why, but i simply am. SYF is finally over but im still tired? still thinking about it thou.

I've finally decided to really set my mind for O levels. PERIOD!! just thinking about it makes me scared and worried. On the contrary.. i want it to come quickly and get it over and done with.

My mind is fully loaded. there's so many things to think about.. and i somehow wish there's a Brain-Organiser or something. Priorities Disfunctions every per-second of the week over per unit-joule. wahhhh ponyoohh mann!!...

I REALLY MISS MY J&D

till then..

2009-04-03T11:51:00.002+08:00

Hey guess wad?? our band got bronze for this years SYF.. okayy i have to admit ...im not satisfied about it! there!! i've said it!.. maybe on the outside i seemed to potray the" its okay" idea.. but i really feel disappointed.. and honestly.. i think we did very well for this years SYF.. no JOkE! but however, the judges doesnt seem to appriciate it tht much..

On the contrary, eventhough the experiences i had were priceless, i feel that the medal plays a strong part.. like seriously.. the need to work towards a certain medal would have definitely pushed people to go beyond their reach just to achieve tht medal. if not, things get very complacent.. who cares about if u get just an "okay" standard.. wad matters most is what u put on the plate. all the hardwork would have definitely paid off.. satisfactory indeed.. There are no goals set...and yet we're still satisfied with bronze? hmmmmm

well, wads over is over and i'll have nothing much to contribute to the band after i stepped down.. its gonna be O's.. thats all thats going to be on my mind.
*
** time to pull up my socks**

2009-03-28T01:01:00.002+08:00

I have a great temper lately and im becoming more rebellious inside.
strange huh?? i didnt realise i could be like this. Most probbly because im not letting others become the boss of me ANYMORE. ohhh Lohhh!.. i know that a few friends of mine will be okayy with it and some would be rather agitated by it. Well i dun care! u cannot blame me for changing, i mix with people and different influences.. pardon me for being harsh as i am now, but thats the way i am now.. so its deal of die with it.

it'll soon be the end of march and April will arise. how should i spend my last days of march? i dunnoe yet.. maybe go crazy? hahhahaha!!

Missin J&D loads!!

2009-03-25T21:05:00.004+08:00

Im like officially screwed for Thurday, 25th March 2009. which is tmr.Seriously!!

do u believe in karma? i noe i do. What happened to me today, speaks volumes about everything i did for yesterday. and it has taken its toll on me! and i dunno how to face tmr. Well i'd just have to go thru tmr and accept anything thats gonna be thrown at me.. with an Open Heart.

till then everyone..

2009-03-23T22:09:00.002+08:00

LeftOvers.. In Disturbia!

Homeworks been piling up fast and many leftovers from my holidays assignments makes everything worst! not to forget i have a friggin history project to complete and F&N coursework to be completed properly by this weds! im panicking yall!! seriously!

I dunnoe whether i'll see myself going to the A levels route or Poly route or even ITE. Its unclear and fading. Especially when i set my Eyes on one target.. it'll be fading.. GODNESS MAAMAA!! im soo worried and stresss and i have my ******** to think about.. and right my bright and beautiful future is at stake and im bloody worried... To add on, i hardly have enough time to complete everything... to travel from sch to home.. reaching late.. rushing thru my homeworks.. revision.. and to think abt the next day to wake up and not be late for sch and all is really draining my useful energy! its a disease of the mind.. and it'll take control of me if i dun do anything about it!.....

Future.. Pending...
Till the yall!

2009-03-19T01:15:00.008+08:00

J&D games and movie evenin!

After soo long we've yet again managed to meet up and have fun!! yeah! met up with them at Northpoint and had lunch and laugh our asses out about the haunted house thingy... and also not forgetting hot juicy gossips.. these girls really kept us going!! and soon dashed down to herdy's and watched "get-smart" and it was damm hilarious lahhh!! ohhh lohhh!!! especialy watching with these girls.. its really fun! and herdy was amazed by her " air-booster speaker" =))

soon after the movie we playe Wii games and damm it was alsoo fun! with those active juices pumped up.. wad 'd you think would happen?? guess guess guess... =)
and again without failing... camwhorers...to tell the truth..J&D have always taken photos everytime we meet up! and its not those boringgg smiling pics...more of goofyyy funny pictures!! so now i've taken the liberty to label our characteristics when taking photos

Me: the weird
Herdy: the Smile
rose: the cheeky
Kinne: The proactive

im always the weird one when taking photos and im always the weird on within our clique! herdy's smile has forever been a $1million smile! there's just something about her bleach white well-arranged teeth and her wide smile! WOW! and Rose.. ohh god roseyy has always been the cheeky one when it comes to photos! ;) doing things tht seems kinds seductive but funny or in other words "mission Power"!! kinne has always been the one who prompt up to take pics!! yeah thts our kinne! " let's take picture!" hahhaha!! here are some photos of wad i meant!

Even so... when we put all these together we'll get a great-loving photo like this!

A fun-filled J&D group shot! hahhaha !! its just sad tht it wont be awhile tht we'll meet up again.. but we'll definitely be as Jumpy&dancey as ever!! muahahha!!

til then people.. chiaos!!

2009-03-15T00:14:00.006+08:00

The Haunted House wass sooo much FUNN!!!!!

YJC carnival was awesome and how i'd wish i could have stayed longer if it wasnt for band.. but oh wells.. at least i gotta meet Roseeyy and went thru the haunted house! hahhaha!! fun i tell you! fcuking fun! yea! soo much fun!

come to think of it... i kinda miss this bunch of people...

I hope we could meet up again and also cos since its the school holidays! hahah! sure there's time.. =)) do meet up soon alrite??

well people.. till then!

2009-03-08T11:28:00.003+08:00

Moving memory....
Danceworks 09 was the bomb yesterday!! and the Moovaholics did an amazing job! to my facebook and check it out!! hahaha! it was too bad tht we didnt had a complete group photo... but i managed to take potos with each and every one of them hahahha!!! Great dancers... amazing dance

My friends came and supprted us!! Love ya'll so soo much!! and even received beautiful rosess and flowers from my buddies!! thanks ya'll soo much!!! And J&D came and supprted me aswell!! thankss soo soo soo much loveliesss!!! they rushed from the tryathlon thingyy and still came.. wahhhness man!! hahaha!!

Yesterday was soo much of fun and i hope the moovaholics will still be together even after yesterday's competition!! meet up soon yea?? =))

Mande and tianhoa feat. Et

Me and melissa(korean)

Me and the Chef

The two Laws...

Eqa ft. me

iisha and Eqa

me an my friendss!!

FAmilia

The two ft. Me

2009-03-04T20:49:00.002+08:00

DANCEWORKS 2009!

Hey yall!! do come for the danceworks competition and support my crew this sat,7th march@outside PlazaSingapura yeah?? Moovaholics... item number 26th.. Im soo friggin excited!!!

Do come withh banners with not only my name on it kayy?? hahhahaha!! do call me of text me about whether u guys are comin.. so tht we both can have some photo sessions with me and the Moovaholics!...

so yea.. u cheer we dance!!

2009-02-22T09:24:00.004+08:00

Passion for dance?

How passionate am i for dance?? I've not been attending danceworks prac for 1 prac.. which was a full-dress rehearsal ...cos schh ended effin late.. moreover, the journey to the venue was another issue..

A dance buddy of mine said that dance is about everything.. you're willing to do wad ever it takes to be there or get there.. but what am i doing?? Danceworks is nearing by the day and im worried... will i have fun on tht day?? will i feel solitary on tht day?? remorsefull? regret?? There's no doubt that sch's gonna get in my way again later.. but wad will i do about it?? let it sink? let fate be my judge? .... i couldnt stand the pressure of sch'lin soo far and travelingg just to get there in time.and by the time i got there.. everyone;s about to leave or very little time left for me to have a chance.... i don like being late for dance.. its like taboo..

At this moment, i feel like my heart is not in any of my dance practices anymore... even yesterday.. i had to rush back to sch and.. i was totally distracted about it and i couldnt dance properly.Sad sad..

So? Passion?? or just a hobby?? rite now.. it feels like jus a hobby..

Ps: my danceworks- im really really sorryyy...

2009-02-20T21:15:00.003+08:00

TGIF!

Thank-God-It's-Friday!(TGIF)...I've never felt soo happy today!.. im excited that today's friday and i cant wait for the weekends to come.. which is in 24hrs later..

My whole week was hectic. All hell breaks lose!The weather has been really Random this whole week.. and it has really gotten to my nerves!! goshness!! Sch have been really tiring and disappointing... Not enough time for time.. and not enough time for workss... Tons of 'em! and yesterday had a chat with lovely J&D and there're the ones i need to shake off those hasty feelings..

And now its friday! My fridays have always been good.. but the feeling is bona-fide for today! i cant wait to dance and dance again!! til then yall

Happy Weekends!

2009-02-17T13:11:00.003+08:00

Its all about Steppin' in....

all i got to say is.. when we're caught in a complex situation... we have to "step-in".. for better or worst.. the outcome is inevitable..

Its all about taking the "first-step". I dunno how to describe the analogy behind it.. but it's something Different..

the good news is.. My aches are healing fast.. now its left with my ass muscles that aches.. hahhaaha!! so yea.. i have i take more calcium stretch more.. =))

till then all...

2009-02-14T11:08:00.003+08:00

Valentines/Friendship day...

happy Valentines & friendship day! to everyone!...

Ohhh lohhh... i HAD to miss dance today cos i need to rest to recover my back ache!.. i feel deeply remorseful! the same goes for the J&D... goodnesss!!! my back is causing everything! dammitt! i have to get my strengths back and recover! haizzz...

Everything was laid out regarding the J&D just 24 hrs ago.. and it wasnt pretty.. but i managed to talked some "sense" into Mr/ms .Someone.. so yea.. finally the burden has been lifted.. =))

Ps: J&D - promise to make it up to ya'll by teaching some dance moves for ya'll! i feel really bad tht ya'll cancel the meeting cos of me.. =(( til then! =))

2009-02-10T20:06:00.005+08:00

For now...

Finally... the J&D we reunited again!! i shall remember the date.. 6th of Febuary 2009..

I never felt soo like myself... i always feel that way when im around the J&Ds or MoOvaholics!!! hahahhaha!! J&D and Moovaholis are one of the most ** Unique** dancers i know.. =))

anyways.. The J&D meet up were Nostalgic!! its've been a long long time since we met and catch up since 2009!! tht day was our official 2nd meet up for 2009.. and still counting... im looking forward to see them at danceworks this year.. hahahha!! The J&D make my day brighter and hopeful! its amazing that we're still BEST FRIENDS!! after how long of not meeting up..like i said in my ancient post * even if we don see eye2eye but we're still sidebyside**... god! im soo thankful to have them as my bestfriends!! =))

I LOVE YOU J&D!! well.. im still aching ... but anywayss...
till thenn!! =)

PS:Moovaholics! we shud take a group photo together!! we're nuts!!

2009-02-09T20:40:00.002+08:00

The Pain....

goodness graciouss me!! my back really ache and it hurts!! ohh mannn... im getting super worried and scared if anything would happen to me.. like.. i cant dance anymore that sorta thing..i'll freakk i tell you.. i'd even go berserk!! i donnoe wad my life would be like if i cant dance anymore... i cant live i telll you!! lolx

Mondays are always veryy gloomy.. especially today.. with my back injury and all.. now im pronged to Fever.. goodness gracious.. i really feel very hopeless at this point to of time.. I feel like dancing.. but i cant do it now.. eventhough i noe im not in a safe condition.. yet i still wanna dance NOW... call me stubborn if u want.. but im genuine.. muahahah!!

Danceworks are around the corner and i would really love and appreciate it if My beloved J&D would come and my other friends... =)) 7th of MARCH.. plaza Singapura...
well til then people... =))

*feel like dancing to -London Choco' Roll *

2009-02-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

Arrogance could be an issuueee....

Imagine someone arrogant gave u an attitude like that.. will arrogance make a person too proud? Egoisitc? Self-centred? well.. wad will happen when being arrogant could be a factor to help a person grow stronger inside.. as in.. sometimes i that feel being arrogant gives us confidence and the" u know u can do anything" feeling... that kind of mentality and feelin is definitely the fabric to become successsfull.. knowing u can do anything...

lalalala!!... this post is weired... sch's getting me all hyped up and worked..and i hate running... u can ask me to DANCE for 3 hours.. but running.. is a big NONO!! hahahha!!
well.. til then ya'll!

2009-01-27T11:08:00.002+08:00

My fears are caused by the dark affecting my imagination and the bright white light would dissipate both the Dark and my fears....

If it was dance that make My life much more interesting... den wad makes my life speciall?? Satisfaction... ease at mind??

2009-01-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

EveryBody DANCE NOW!!! I LOVE DANCING!! ( are u ready for this??)

dancing like razy makes me crazy for dancing!! hehehhe!! thts the way of my life!!

2009-01-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

Reality Check...

I had a bad strt for the day and it's hideously affecting me..and the whole day at school felt like a Draggg!! as if i wasnt sub-conciously ready for schh.. wad heck!!

and then..sometime during recess.. it finally hit me..I have to accept the reality of things no matter how bad or how true it is.. i need to wake up my idea and pull myself together.. ever since tht someone said those things to me last night, the other someone said the same thing to me this morning. and yea.. tht's the whole reason why i felt like a hopeless chicken..

I've realised tht i must draw a line between friends and "friends"... my limits are secure.. my dignity pure..

and i also feel like there's not enuff time for me to complete my assignments... im practically chasing time as we speak!! ohhh noo!! then why the fcuk am i doing online??? tsk tsk tsk....

2009-01-21T20:32:00.002+08:00

How do i feel now??? i'm furious, anxious and disappointed..such lilttle things affected me soo much and has taken its toll on me...Fcuk!!

does it even matter tht much?? people sometimes stab u from the back and when it finally hits u.. u'll strt to wonder..wonder..wonder..wonder...and everything else just BOOMS at you untill u get super fed-up tht we cant control our emotions and become repulsively affected...soon.. we'd wonder why do we even bother about it??now everything is ruin!holyyy-SHIt!!arghhhh!! Fcuk to those people...

Its fcking annoying...

2009-01-19T20:50:00.002+08:00

Chasing Time...

To Strt off.. my legs are goners after 2 str8 days of Hard dancing... Danceworks is coming up and band SYF is coming up as well.. not forgetting O's..

TIRED TIRED TIRED...but i have to make sure tht i'll stop going for dance classes soon after Danceworks over.. either tht or go on alternate weeks.. i MUST really strt warming up my Brain and prepare myself.. im chasing time as we speak.. ohhh gosshh! i have to stick to this.. My future for a JC or POLY or NAFA depends on it.. hmmmmm....

Tht being said, i have nothing else more to say.. so till then people...

Muss**

2009-01-16T21:20:00.002+08:00

Sec5 has been really fun so far and i hope to have more fun with them sooner or later..

i have to swallow the reality whter i like it or not..

2009-01-11T10:09:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday Sheren!

so yea.. ysterday had a sudden invitation to My dance lovely's b'dae celebration!! hahhaha!! afterrr supeerrr long period of 2 months waiting to meet up and hang with her.. she finally asked me out to her b'dae party!..if only our friend Has was around.. she would have enjoyed it as much as i do! =DD

Meet up with some dance friends and we had dinner at Shokudo@ Raffles City Shopping centre.. i've never heard of tht place and everything was super unknown untill i couldnt pronounce the place untill i see myself.. hahha! i used to call it sudoku.. hahhaha!! lame shitt man!

so after which we headed off to Safra and Chilled.. decided to play pool.. Bowl and Club.. den ended off the day playing truth or dare... hahha Funny shitt mann!! each
of us got Psyche real good.. the boys had to Put on make up.. and mannn i look like Monster!! hahaha!! so yea.. fun day..fun time.. great fun!! Hope could meet up with them more often someday!

The people!=DD

The Big B'dae Card

The make up dare..Victim:Joel

Veejay and Justin

Finally.. me the Monster..

Soo Ending my post here.. Til then all.. =DD

2009-01-09T22:09:00.002+08:00

Waits over!

so yea! the J&D finally met up for the first time in 2009. as u can see.. in in sch Uniform so tht obviously means i went after school.. hahaa!! so yea.. and soon sent herdy off fot her Cruise.. and i wish i could go on a cruise someday..=DD

so, i sometimes wish people would be more friendly and not only stick to their on clicks and i would also want to mix around more and be close friends..i could almost feel the hostility everywhere and the vibe is not matching any of mine.. but however, this is only the beginning and who know? things might get better!..

SO now, im looking forward to the Level camp! we're Goin Ice-skating! =DD

2009-01-04T22:27:00.002+08:00

Sensitive&Creative?

I had band camp for 2 1/2 days cos i had to go for dance.. well.. had a sugar rush on the first day and had fun eventually.. :D:D

when i was at my Dance.. my instructor said. " a sensitive person is creative ".. so yea. it kept me wondering and bothered me till today. if im sensitive? does it mean im creative? or if im creastive, does it mean im sensitive?hmmm... maybe i am.. maybe im not.. so go figure..

Sensitive person gets emotional easily and able to express themself thru anything..in order to relief their "condition".. A creative person has to be sensitive towards things in order to create.. like a composer, he's song comes from his sensitivity or as we are more familiar with.. his feelings.. a choreographer come up with steps according to the Mood/rhythem/tune of the song..again. SENSITIVITY. A teacher tries to come up with a way to teach better and connect with his students better by being sensitive to his resources...

So i guess a sensitive person is creative and vice versa.. but am i? hmmm...

2009-01-01T00:23:00.003+08:00

The year 2009..

its common for everyone to be excited and happy for the countdown for every new year.. but somehow i don have the "Joyful" feeling this year.. hmmm.. i wonder why..
anyways.. i cant deny tht i love the celebration of new year but not having the "right" feeling for it is undeniable..LOLS!

So. My new year resolution? i have it in my mind but i don wish to write it here..cos its kinda personal..=DD all i can say is.. i wish.i wish.i wish.. and yea.. school is strting soon and im excited yet scared..hhhaa irony much? so yea.. it falls on a fri.. such lameness.. wad makes it more lame is a camp is coming and i awfully hate it..but its okayy i guess? maybe new year isnt something special to me yet.. so im keeping my-mind/eyes open.. =DD and i really need to go shopping..

2009? i dunnoe wad'll happen.. J&D will go our seperate ways.and im wondering if there will still be J&D anymore..haiz...and i wonder when we will have the time to meet up anytime soon.. even with my other friends.. aiyoyo...
and next year.. i'll be super duper busy with stuff.. SYF, Danceworks,and O levels.. i think i might be MIA for the Entire year cos for sure my Bro's gonna be super strict since its my O's year.. i just wish things we still be the same.. be it friends or family.. school or work.. i don wan anything to change hahha!! Come to thing of it.. i love 2008.. i performed etc. wow much man..WOW MUCH.. i simply pray tht 2009 will just be as fruitful as 2008. Thank God for giving me a happy year.

2008-12-30T22:44:00.003+08:00

BYE 2008.Hello 2009!

well.. this year has been a very Delightful year indeed.. good things happened and also the Bad ones.. and the Good ones are the most nostalgic of all... by next year.. my all friends will be out of NBS and i'll be the one left.. tht's super sad cos i didnt get to leave with them.. but im looking at the bright side of it thou.. =DD

The beginning of a new year is also the beginning of change and all.. hahhaha!! well yeah.. i was hoping i could spend my last moments of 2008 with J&D but non of us seemed to have the time.. each busyy with our own appointments.. well.. im looking forward to an Outing with Kinne and Kimi tmr and im sure it'll be a Sweet one..i guess i wont be seeing them in sch anymore.. hahhaha!!

The time is coming.. and im sure it'll be something special..

til then.. MUSS-10.53pm

2008-12-24T13:54:00.002+08:00

well wad'd yah noe.. i feel tht this week feels kinda lonely and hostile eventhough its christmas Eve and all..i wanna go out with my friends! spend time with Family! and Shop! and be Happy! but everybody seemed to be pretty busyy at the moment.. and i feel like an ass hole all off 'a sudden..

Now,Friends are not my 1st priority anymore.. Things are strting to change and i make such a big deal out of it.. its tht "inner-voice" im listening to.. aiyoyo!.. maybe i shud just spend more time training and dancing..tht's the only time i enjoy doing..

2008-12-21T00:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes.. i think Being myself isnt wad i really want to do these days... i sometimes feel tht Being myself deprieved me of all pleasures and goodness i yearn for.

I made it For sec5 like finally!! hahahha!.. im proud of myself and the many people around me who prayed and hoped and believed tht i could.. Thx a amillion guys...

I think its about time i get in touch and listen to my " inner-voice"..and tht voice said tht i'm yearning for something.. and i AM!!.. wow rite?? lolx..i guess its good thou.. cos its more of going with yourself... make ur own decision and stuff and not relying on anyone tht often.. kinda like being independant.:))

So, there's one thing i HATE soo veryy much.. and tht is feeling left out. it sucked big time.. and the feeling is like shit and ur Mood-meter will drop from Hype to Asshole..yea tht low.. and im sure we dont like to feel left out do we??.. remember being left out and feeling left out is different.

2008-12-16T21:39:00.002+08:00

I've hardly meet up meet up with my friends nowadays and i reallyyy reallyy miss them.. Alot!!

this thursday is almost like Deejavuu all over again..but im sure it'll be a good one! ohh god, please make my sentiments correct and i believe tht ur watching over me.. please hear my cries dear god, i don want to dissapoint anyone again,

2008-12-11T22:46:00.002+08:00

My whole body is just FULL Of artisticality!.. my body... my eyes.. my ears!! My body to dance.. my eyes for Art and my Ears for Music... WOW rite?? i noe.. im amazed myself!

wells.. i had a tiring week this week and my N level results are just Days away.. ohh godd pleasssee spare me.. :))

2008-12-09T17:48:00.004+08:00

J&D LOVE!

well.. today i've decided to talk about the J&D.. or shud i say .. My Girls!

it all strted when we've decided to perform on T'day 2007 but didnt.. and yeahh.. everything went up hill since then.. and eversince, we got closer and closer together and our bonds can never break! :).. im proud and grateful and thankful to have such great Best friends like them with me.. They've helped me thru thick and thin.. and now its offficial tht my girls are goin to be my first call whenever i need them!so yeah!.. my girls are simply great!they make small things BIG. My girls make my day smiley-er and happier! my girls... my girls ... my girls.. i Love you!

Kinne, i shud say tht she's a passionate mademoiselle, committed! she's like our Crappy Buddy!yea!with her around, J&D will also crap-along!
Rose, She's soft-spoken,and her fluent flow of Speech Blows many people!and also she's kinda like our Silly-Loud mademoiselle!! as usual she's oh Laughing Gas! she'll make us laugh our tummy out!
Herdy,she's independent, Cheerful and she always speaks her mind... and she's a Sweetheart whenever the J&D meet up! our sunshine girl!
Me, well i dunnoe.. u gotta ask them wad they think of me! :D

J&D has a quality tht's Exquisite and Genuine.. we're super best friends and yet we have other bestfriends somewhere outside of the J&D..we have this "friend-making" personality ..but we never desert each other when new bestfriends appear.. J&D will always be J&D.. thts wad i love about us! like i said, we have a bond tht no one will break...and if anyone tries, we'll still survive!

My girls always got my back, and i got their's thts for sure, they can count on me and i can count on them..even if we sometimes we don meet eye-to-eye.. we will always be side-by-side.. i love them and i noe tht they do!

Here's a shout-out to My Girls: hey you!! no matter where i go i'll still be the same!! and i wont desert you girls or hurt u in anyway! :DD LOVE YA!

J&D, Til Death do us Apart!

Muss** 6.20pm

2008-12-07T01:19:00.003+08:00

Incomparable! Mus!

How Should i describe myself?? after 5 years of my teenage life... i've grown from Nerdy councillor to a loveable Bandsmen... for 2 years.. and then from there to a Passionate Dancer and Yet Still a passion bandsmen.. i used to be afraid and of other people.. you know, low self-esteem and suchh. but those are all history of sec2-sec3.. Now, im a cheerful, loud,laughin and Egoistic Machine! i noe.. like whoah + WOW!!! hehhe... soo you see the difference now?like im surprise about it myself!! time changes a person and thts a fact..I mean.. i had never imagined tht i would be a artistically inclined.. its unexpected and i bet there's a whole lot more of other great things written for me.. just waiting to be uncovered!just be super aware of my surroundings could do the trick i guess?? hahhax! :))

and im sure many people have change as well.. like kimi, she went from Friendless to FriendFULL! hahha.. kinnee.. from bossyy band major to a greatt J&D buddy... Rose, from Black to White! ;)... and Herdy.. from quiet to the Loudest! :)) people who dont dance are dancing!...and many many moree!! time people around me are changing and so am i.. people who are different.. their time is coming.. Its changing out dere! :)) just pls don change for the Worst! XD

looking forward for kinnes Band Concert!

2008-12-05T00:04:00.002+08:00

SleepOver:
oh!! the sleep over at Rose's was great! and again the planned become unplaned and the unplanned turned out great!! Twister was the Best game we played.. and i must add that rose was the Flexi-Queen of Twister! muahahha!! well... other than that, the dinner... supper and late supperr was one of the most sensual time.. we talked and laugh and bonded together! A Million Thanks Roseria! =D

Ice-Skating:
Well... i went Ice-skating on the 2nd day of DEC.. and i tell you! its a Must Try Thing!! its simply exciting! and i would love the for J&D to try it!.. its either we do it or forever regret not doing it together! =DD!! hahahhaha!!

StarBucks-Coffee Bean:
ok.. This event was today! hahahha and again.. went out with j&D! hahahha!! i love us! we make the most boring things Exciting!! and i must say tht Starbucks was having a promotion to help the Salvation army blah blah blah... donate any amount... get a free drink! hahhaha! isnt tht like AWESOOMEE?! but unfortunately the Q was super LONG and soo we've decided to go to Coffee bean instead! again.. unplanned and yet Turned out Great! =D ouhhh Gosh!! towards the End.. i would probably say that our journey back to Cityhall station was.. ZOoom-TasTIC!! like literally!! ;) wells.. J&D will always Light up my day no matter how small the ray of light is.. they make small things BIG! i mean HUGE! =D

Looking forward to my dance classes and also another outing with J&D! =D

Muss** 12.27am

2008-12-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

I'm Have a happy Life i tell you!
HAPPY!!
It's a calling i tell you!
A CALLING!
btw.. do call me.. hahha!

2008-11-27T01:05:00.002+08:00

The Question...

I have a Question. Why do people care soo much about sexuality?? things like being a Lesbian or Gay. Or Bisexual or wadeva.. why do people bother soo much?? Yes of i noe its against some of our religion and yes thts a good enuff ans to it. But socially?? why is it such an issue... if u were to be dating with the same person of the same sex.. why do people look at it like they're a walking Human Violation?? If people of different sexes can go on Dates and be in a relationship and its completely OKAY and to them its romantic bcos its love.. why cant people of the same sex can have tht same kind of treatment? Homosexuals are people of the same sex making Love. Love! so why is it an issue?? love is something Exquisite and special..But why is it only presentable for guy and girl? not girl-girl or guy-guy?? its still love rite?.. but Im still wondering... maybe i should read a book on it..im super Curious!! all of a sudden.

2008-11-21T21:08:00.001+08:00

Our Dance For tht one evening! hahahha!!

2008-11-21T11:07:00.002+08:00

A night to remember...

Prom wass awesome!! I feel tht the performance was one of the highlights of the evening!hahhaha! This bunch of people were amazing... even if they have no experience wad soo eva.. they still did their best! and the best part.. new friendships were build! hhahaha!! and im glad to be part of this "high School Dancers" after all those drills of " 5,6,7,8...." the experience was FUN! :))

I miss yesterday and i would love it if i could rewind yesterday and slow it down.. it ended super CEPAT.. like a blink of an eye! hahahha! as if the night was for only 2 hours.
thinking back.. and remembering everything.. is wad im doing now.. Looking forward to sleepover with J&D.. and also a treat on wed with the High school Dancers.. :))

Muss**

2008-11-18T20:50:00.002+08:00

Today and Randomness...

ouhh... have i meantioned today was veryyy suppperrr Random?? i mean.. when u planned to go with the plan u planned and suddenly everything side-tracked and u when u have the best people inur life with u.. for sure nothing will turn to something! :)

well.. the J&D were suppose to meet up and visit me at NBS and watch the sequence of something.. but we ended early soo yea things went downhill at tht moment.. den soon after.. we decided to head to Yishun Stadium. At first i tot tht its gonna be like dull and evertthing (i noe yall feel tht way too huh?) but when u have the Finest-comedy-sitcom-video makers u have nth to worry about.. i meann HELL YEAH!! it was damm fun.. from making nonsensical videos to Cheer leading to Bird-Duck-Quack-Meow.. hahha it was fun.. definitely a THING to remember.. ouh and also * remember the other day* moments.. hahah! I love J&D.. They're my Laughing GAs!!

Muss** 9.22pm

2008-11-16T23:43:00.002+08:00

Yesterday...Today

yesterday was SATURDAY! and ouhh mannn it was tiring.. its dance-after-dance day yesterday... woohhooo!! its fun i admit but too much of it will definitely bring my Energy level down.. at least for me of cos :)) ouh and HAPPY 17th FAIZNUR!..my buddy since pri sch.. :))

So today.. Sunday, I had dance class.. as usual.. i've decided to move on to the advance class cos i wanna expose myself to more challenges.. especially with PAT as my Instructor.. he's fierce rabakkk!! he's been pin-pointing me since last week man!... got me sweatin' nervous! LoLs all he wanted me to do was to be more " HardWorking"... ahhhaa!wadeva!

Well.. Prom Night is coming and i've yet to go shopping... all i need is 1) A pair of New Shoes...2) a new buttoned down long sleeve.. and maybe some other stuff like a belt or Skinny tie.. but i dunnoe.. i don wan to spent too much this year.. cos i still got nxt yr.. and nxt yr should be the year for me to "DRESS-TO-KILL" ahhhaa! :P...

tsktsktsk...Mussy mussy mussyyy... soo vain nowadays.. and ur all grown up now...

Muss** 11.53 pm

2008-11-16T10:18:00.004+08:00

The time is coming...

WOW.. i nvr thought tht This Year... NBS is gonna be a Danceful year.. finally i've managed to show NBS My other Talent instead of Band..and i feel ouhh soo solitary! :) prom is coming soon and mann!! im freakinng out on wad to wear.. especially when we're doing a lil something for tht special nite! :p i have to look good and feel good as well.. haiz.. i need Rose right now to help me decide on wad to wear.. ahhhaaa!

I played Hotel 626 and its Freaking scarryyy!! it scared the Holy Shitts Outta me..and the game is only playable from 6pm to 6 am..like WTH?? thts no wonder the game is called 626 as in " 6-to6" hahaha!! for those who wanna try... www.hotel626.com for the ladies... if ur really strong hearted den play if not.. im warning u.. it scared the Puberty ouutt ya!..no offence but ya! :)) and the fact tht im gonna be alone for the next 2 days.. It has definitely taken its toll on mee..
OUHH SHIATTT-SUUUUU!!

Muss ** 10.32 am

2008-11-13T13:52:00.002+08:00

I'm Feeling Happy today.. :))
Im Cheerfull ... happy...Joyous and full of Good Vibes
TODAY!

In fact.. This is the Perfect timing for me to dance and be happy doing it! YAY!!
I really Miss mY J&D... ouhh dear ouh dear... Absence has really made my heart grow fonder.
:))

MUS** 2.02pm

2008-11-13T02:42:00.002+08:00

Im feeling angryy inside... Furious.. Mad..Repulsive.. Tht's all im feeling since the Last 22hrs..
I cant wait for Sat.. Looking forward to Going out with Kinne and Que.. and Especially My Lyrical Class!

So yeah.. and also looking forward to an outing with J&D and Friends to shop for Prom.. it's not my night to remember cos im not graduating yet..soo.. why bother to " Dress to impress" ?? and i doubt my classmates will come this year...and im dying to meet them cos they're GREAT! ahha! :))

* why shud i feel jealous?? i dont want anything to do with it and i don give a Fcuk about it... *

Mus** 2.59am

2008-11-11T23:51:00.003+08:00

I'd never thought tht i missed playing Music this much... Watching my beloved juniors rehears and practise very hard reminded me of the Fun times i had with my Music Buddies.. Eg.. Kinne and Kamiyah..farah...BAKH... we strted off soo pathetic and eventually grow and become music lovers and Experts.. i feel honoured tht my Juniors Look up to me for guidence.. i feel tht i;ve already completed my Duty and left with Good memories.. and i feell fcuking proud wearing my Band T-shirt.. there! i've SAID IT!...hahha... soo yeah.. eventhough i will have another year next yr.. i'll definitely miss competing alongside with my fellow buddies... eventhough i've a passion for dance... Music has never left My heart..and it'll always be there...And yea.. MUSIC is DEFINITELY for LIFE.. Praise the Mozart and Beethovenn and BACH!

Muss** 12.05am

2008-11-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

FRIENDSHIP is a FULL-TIME OCCUPATION.

FRIENSHIP is a full time occupation for me.. cos they just make my day.. Going out with J&D will turn my frown upside-down and rise up my "happyHour" meter.. FRIENDS.. wad can u do without themm...

Heres a lil saying i would like to use to conclude my Post

Find a way to take your internal clock and slow it down! You need to be patient.

Sometimes it feels like patience isn't a virtue as much as it's a method of torture! If you want to retain any sense of balance in your life, you are going to have to find a way to take your internal clock and slow it down! A great way to slow your roll would be to laugh a lot -- so get together with people who always have a funny take on things. Their quips and witty comments will help take your mind off your urge to rush around, and will help you stay hopeful for the future.

Muss**12.26am

2008-11-10T14:09:00.002+08:00

Cash Crisis...

I want to do alot of things which requires alot of $$... mannn!.. im cramped with cash all of a sudden.. there's soo many things for me to do.. yet i don have enff $$ to do so.. and now.. im not sure whter i;d be able to go for prom nite.. Sad Sad Sad.. but there're more things tht are important than tht.. soo.. Prom will still be on pause for me now..

Looking forward for the outing with J&D.. but one thing tht i worry... i don think i'll be going if
"...... ....... .......... " so yea..but i 'll have to consider about tht...

til then...
Mus** 2.15 Pm

2008-11-09T22:20:00.003+08:00

I went to dance class today.. and i must admit.. tht im getting much better every week.. LoLS.. but i must not boast about it..
Well.. to me.. hanging out with friends is indeed one of my " DE-Stress" remedies... Ever since they've graduated or moved on to the next level.. tht has indeed make my heart grow fonder for them...
Some of us in this world are not in the Perfect shape like we fantasized.. some too short.. too slow.. .. too stupid.. too lazy.. too dependat.. Too pampered..Too fat..... Too unperfect.. Friendless.. too arrongant.. ETC... and we all have ourselves to blame.. if only we have taken tht " OneStep" to change it all.. and tht step is to Open our minds and Be brave to do anything even if there's misturns.. I've learnt tht during my Dance today... The moment when ur Pissed about not getting it right..getting it right for just a moment and screw it again the next.. is painful.. but however... Goin thru the pain makes the result much more Benefitial and rewarding and " Worth-the Trouble".. so.. all we have to do is be brave.. and Try it.. and Don't care about our Weaknesses.. cos they wont do us any good but to just get in our way to victory.. do what u have to do..never let our Heart Overrule our Mind.. for the bad things.. like " i ccant do it cos im ....." we have our Goals in our mind.. our Desire for it is in our heart.. our heart is sensitive to everything.... tht is why when we fail we Complain!. and soon.. our goal will sidetrack.. So DOnt... Don't!.. Let our heart overrule for the right things.. like.. " i have to do this cos i wan to be better..."

an Advice from Mussy.. Tht made me, Et realise how Strong the Heart is if we allow it to overrule our Minds for the wrong reasons..

Muss** 10.53 Am.

2008-11-08T22:33:00.002+08:00

I feel that dancing has already made me confident..better.. be more comfortable to be open to people..be more lively and young..

My love for music has already grown... but yet to be improved..Music runs in my family's blood.. all thx to my late Grand.Papa... he passed down he talent and love for music to his children and then to us.. the next generation.. so yes.. but i want to used tht talent to imprve my Dance Technique..so thts wad im doing now...

After the two dance sessions with the J&D was great and yes! they were indeed amazing ...Love them! this has made me realise tht they make me feel important.. like they need me to lead them in the line to dance... but is it true?? am i really what i think i am to them?? i cant possibly confirm yet... but there's one thing tht im not veryy comfortable withh.. im using some of the routines i learnt from my dance class.. i don feel good teaching the J&D tht.. i feel like im copying everytin... Every dancer has his own style.. each individual's style mixed with other genre of dances make them unique and extremely good. i've yet to find my style of choreography... my own creation of Art and my very own technique.. but i cant seem to figure it out..

Perhaps soon.. or not anytime soon..maybe its right infront of me.. maybe its not even there..
So here i am.. still searching....

Muss** 10.45pm

2008-11-07T22:14:00.002+08:00

Nightmares during the day... Daydreaming during the nite.

guess what?? for the last few days.. i've been sleeping during the day and staying up all nite all nite... so, i've been having nightmares when im sleeping.. ooooohhhhhhhh!! i dreamt tht i suffered and going to die of lukemia.. and i only have 2 years to live.. can u imagine if it were true?? i found out by some doctor tht i lave lukemia and only have 2 years to live..which means.. next year and th following.. den i wont dance..wont be a part of the J&D any longer.. itss just sad aint it??well.. its just a dream...

so.. during the nite.. i'll daydreamm.. its as if.. when the moon is up... then i'm up!.. daydream about me after i'd slim down and look ouhh soo handsome and J&D being soo proud of me.. and i'd dance better.. i've been getting those fantasy for 3 nites str8! and getting inspiration for new songs for me to teach the J&D... the feeling is just soo wonderfull.. i cant put them in words..even if i could.. it wont be as true as the way i felt it... OMG..
I sound soo Gay.. Btw.. Not all Male dancers are Gay!Im not! get tht in ur head... :))

Mus** 10.27pm.

2008-11-07T12:15:00.002+08:00

these otters are soo romantic.. if only w humans are more like them, life will indeed be much like a paradise..

Ouhh and in this vid..i think this cat has a love for Music.. hahahaa! u can see it when she plays the piano!.. cool huh?

2008-11-07T00:57:00.005+08:00

The saddest....
i cant imagine myself in a situation where my Cat died in my arms.. This video is soo saddening tht i cried just by watching it.. but ever life comes death.. this reminded me of my rabbit- black and my hamster who died a few years ago..and i only realised it the next morning.. soo sadd.... To all pet lovers.. treasure every single moment with ur pets.. Here's the video..

Muss** 1.07Am

2008-11-05T00:38:00.003+08:00

What else and how should i Describe
Myself??
I pretty much said all about myself in my previous posts
So now? i have no idea.....

umm.. im confused.. distracted.. and im always ANGRY nowadays.. be it with my frens in sch..Frens from Dance classs.. J&D.. and family.. i donnoe why really.. is this something tht i have to go thru? or it has already Written for me in my " LifeStory"..even the smallest of things i get very worked about.. impulsive and rebellious and competitive... i really donnoe why.. By ANGRY i don mean tht im ANGRY at those people.. but ANGRY with myself... angry with such small little things is kinda pathetic i noe.. but i simply cant get away from tht feeling at the moment..
for eg, when one of the J&D's dresses better than i do.. i'd get angry.. jealous... or maybe even when my dance frens are better than i am.. i'll get angry cos ... why cant i be like them?.. yeah.. those kind of things.. all im hoping for is all this to be over.. i don want it to go to an extent tht i'll break ties with all of them..

Such impulsive attitude..Fake smiles.. wads next? i might even kill someone at the veryy worst.
Muss***.... 12.55AM

2008-11-03T20:32:00.004+08:00

WHY??
Why god?? why did u make this wall for me to climb??
even if u noe tht i wil NVR make it...still why??

So the Drama. I cant even explain how this Drama .. Its Undescribable, unpredictable.unexplainable.... The thing i can sayy is.. I'm always the one at fault even if its not even mine... its me! i knew its me.. cos im too WEAK to LAZY to do anything.. but i cant justify tht.. but i have tht kind of feeling eversince..

I have something to confess.. Deep down.. im a coward... i have a weak heart... sometimes.. when i wanna Yell at people.. my heart simply sank soo deep tht i feel UnHuman..like aLOSER..which then make me not to yell at the someone...but why?? why am i soo weak??? maybe tht's why i've been letting people step-on my head all the time...i noe its wrong but wad am i suppose to do?? the most i could do is to just let the matter sink in.. pretend like it nvr happened...

but why cant i just stand up for myself..for ONCE! just this f*cking ONCE DAMN IT!!

2008-11-01T21:38:00.003+08:00

Here's a Video.. a Video Where i find my Inspiration.. LOLX!
Well.. Watch it and Understand it!.. ESPECIALLY the J&D!
U guyss better watch This.. HErdy in Particular.. :))

ENJOY!:))